Hindsight is 20/20

I’m sure many have seen this viral video, but this really speaks a lot to me.

I find it uncanny how I only posted two months ago about seeking 20/20 vision. Right on the cusp of the pandemic as we now know it. Whilst recognising that I still have much to unpack and ponder…..I have finally discovered what I needed all along.  And it is transformative, to say the least. 

Hindsight truly is 20/20.

Ça va?

A conversation with a French friend.

I’m pretty sure that the translation is not entirely correct, but I’m sure the general gist of it is. I don’t know if my friend’s response was because of personal characteristics or if it is a cultural thing but I love the way it was worded.

M: Toujours seulement ça va?

(always only fine?)

F: C’est compliqué avec le confinement d’être seul donc je préfère dire que ça va, comme ça on ne m’embête pas car je n’ai pas envie d’en parler. Le travail est cool mais relativement éprouvant, c’est très intense, mais pareil, je préfère dire que ça va. En fait c’est parce que cela me déprimerait de me plaindre. Je n’aime pas me plaindre haha.

It’s complicated with the confinement of being alone so I prefer to say that it’s okay, that way we don’t bother because I don’t want to talk about it. The work is cool but relatively trying, it’s very intense, but the same; I prefer to say that it’s fine. In fact, it’s because it would depress me to complain. I don’t like to complain haha.

 

I hope everyone is doing fine in the current interesting times we are experiencing. I must say that I do feel somewhat guilty to not be adversely affected to any extent. If anything I feel immense gratitude for what I have and my circumstances. I think I am oddly feeling slightly better (or about the same – which wasn’t fantastic) if anything.

In search of 20/20 vision….

Here we are, one quarter of the year gone.

Much achieved but it also feels so little. I have been absent here for a long time, but I have realised recently how much I need to write. I should journal privately for personal growth and many reasons, more than I sporadically do……but I really do enjoy sharing and pondering questions here.

So here I am. I don’t know how often I will write, but I do have stories to share (some I promised a while ago) and questions to put out into the ether.

I took a life break almost two years ago and whilst I have done SO, soooo much in that time, had many experiences and have definitely had growth and lessons……I still feel a bit same same.

And I feel guilt and shame for this. For not doing more. For not being more. For still lacking direction in my life. But perhaps that’s what made me feel like my soul was dying before. Being so set. Following a path almost blindly. Although there were many adventures, it was a standard white-picket-fence life. And I am not a standard white-picket-fence kinda gal.

I do see the value in having structure, comfort and familiarity – especially when doing new things that are scary and challenge societal norms. I recognise that I need a balance of familiar and unfamiliar.

So….in search of 20/20 vision (which, can we be honest….does anyone ever get that in their life, ever?) here I am.

Here to ponder. Showing up for myself. Because right now, that is what I need the most.

I do hope to get back into reading more in the WP community that I shared in previously, but so much has changed that I don’t know where to start catching up on things.

It feels selfish to not know as much about my readers but I aim to ask myself things more and reflect on the answers that I find. I hope to be helpful in this way.

Oxygen masks & the eternal dilemma

What do you do when you can’t hold space for someone who needs you?

When you feel so triggered by someone that most interactions leave you feeling powerless, frozen, stuck? But this is also someone you love, family.

How does one sit with, resolve and let go of the feelings of guilt and all the rest of it?

I know that when you are struggling to breathe yourself, you must always fit your oxygen mask first.

It is a struggle, though.

The New Manifesto

I’ve spoken about struggling with intuition in the past. I think it’s no surprise that I struggle with a ‘monkey mind’ much like many of us. I recently came up with these simple questions and thought it was apt to update my manifesto.

Such questions are easy to use in a variety of scenarios;

Does it feel safe?

Does it feel good?

Does it feel right?

In line with another principle that strongly resonates with me, that I have touched on before….if it’s not a “fuck yes”, then it’s a no.

Christmas Wishes

I nearly sent you an FB message today.  I’m sure you could find me on there too, if you wanted to.

I wasn’t going to send anything requiring a response but just to say hello and that I hoped your Christmas is shaping up better than last year.

Many would wonder why I would want to even contact you. That I should expend my energy on those who are more worthy. But I enjoyed the conversations we had.

I am feeling more lost than ever right now and I guess you were part of the very start of my “finding me” journey.  I feel lost without anyone to really talk to right now. But I think I enjoyed talking to you so much because you were a great mirror for me.

Anyway. I digress, as always.

I hope you are healthy and happy. Sending you peace and wishing you well.

French Lessons

A text exchange with MonsieurMiam.

Magenta: Ça va?

MM: Good and you?

{after googling some words/phrases to translate horny}
Magenta: Viceloque 😏

MM: Hein ?
{one instance of his use of dotting in French words…. I discovered hein means huh}

Magenta: Cochonne? 🤔 ou chaud la braise?
Magenta: Tell me the right word 🤷🏻‍♀️  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Magenta: Excité?

MM: Ahah!
MM: Excitée  ; )
MM: 😋

Magenta: Oui 😏

MM: Why?
MM: ^^    **

Magenta: Why not?
Magenta: Toujours si je me souviens de toi :p
{always if I remember you}

MM: Ahah I like that 😘

Magenta: Please say yes to an adventure before you go home? *

MM: Yes I want  ; )  **

Magenta: 🤩

* Fingers crossed….sometime next year….to be continued
** I find it curious that French friends (not just MM) seem to use a mix of typed emoji and actual emojis, typically just  ^^    (I believe to be interpreted as a grin) and winky face ; )

Oui! Oui! S’il vous plaît, Monsieur

So, it’s been a while since I posted a minxy tale. They certainly haven’t been lacking this year, with the discovery of play world and all. I have been meaning to post more tales since the beginning of the year but alas that has not happened.

I do have many tales to tell, however…… but most tales are best told in the moment….as present, and fresh, as possible. The details more readily recalled. This tale is one of Magenta’s first French delicacies, a delightfully dashing young monsieur – so delicious, there is no other name for him except Monsieur Miam. It is also rather fitting that his actual name is one of alliteration too. I started writing this a few weeks ago when we first met and we have had several interactions since then, so there is definitely more to come!

I met MonsieurMiam whilst trying out Tinder for the very first time. Previously, I was always Tinder-averse because of all of the Tinder nightmares that get laughed about on social media. I suppose many online dating/meeting apps are alike so I don’t know why I had been so deadly against it.

MonsieurMiam’s profile was very brief, but his photos spoke volumes. Stunning bright blue-green-grey eyes, like the colour of silver leaf plants. They are even more beautiful in person, framed by the most swoon-worthy lush, thick, lashes. He had a beautiful energy in his pictures, although most weren’t smiling. One image of him on the beach, casually walking, un-posed, showed his very fit body. I’m not one to drool over or place priority on buff bods but this was one to be appreciated.

I think he must have swiped me first as I received the match notification instantly. He said hello a little while after matching, and I replied hi back. I was surprised to hear from him as matches who also message on Tinder seemed to be a bit hit and miss. Plus he is rather young 😬, and very very beautiful – I figured he would have a bevvy of beauties banging down his door.

We chatted in a couple of spurts over the course of the day after we first matched….me being my weirdo self, wanting to make sure that any solo guys I play with understand my standards and safety measures.

I am not an easy standard hookup. I respect my play community and those I play with, as well as that of my own health. If someone can’t answer or isn’t comfortable discussing sexual health and safety then it’s a 🙅🏻‍♀️ no from me.

We met whilst both overseas and I learned that MonsieurMiam was on a pre-working holiday trip to meet new people and improve his English. I ended up inviting him over after we established a level of comfort and we had a brief video chat. His English wasn’t the greatest but I found his manner and conversation quite endearing all the same. The odd French word dotted into a sentence was very cute indeed – and I do love languages.

After meeting him out the front of my apartment complex when he arrived, greeting me with a typical European kiss on both cheeks, we strolled the short distance to my apartment. I couldn’t believe how breathtakingly beautiful he was – but beyond that, he was just really nice too. We’d connected on Instagram after Tinder and, upon meeting me, he asked if my name was Maggie or my Instagram handle. The way he says both is very adorable, he could call me whatever he wanted and I wouldn’t care haha. But I told him I’m usually Maggie or Magenta.

MonsieurMiam asked to shower, after his dusty, hot, journey via motorbike taxi to my house so I showed him the bathroom. I went the kitchen but soon heard him calling out to me from the shower “Maggie, are you going to join?”.

I entered the bathroom and admired the breathtaking view of MonsieurMiam in the shower, water cascading over his gorgeous body. I turned around and undressed slowly, so he could appreciate my often-rated backside to which he murmured appreciatively. Entering the shower, I soaped up my body and pressed it up against his, travelling up and down his toned, tanned physique. We kissed and enjoyed each other’s skin under the warm caress of running water.

Exiting the shower and drying ourselves off, we wasted no time in enjoying each others’ freshly cleansed skin. I still couldn’t believe my eyes at this gorgeous man in my room. Helping him dry off, I enjoyed kissing him up and down his body, pausing to suck his cock a little, to which he murmured appreciatively, commenting I did that well.

Making our way over to the bed, he picked me up and kissed me deeply as he threw me on the bed in the way I absolutely adore. Joining me on the bed, he kissed me again and we made out for a little bit, enjoying exploring each other’s skin with our hands, before MonsieurMiam began traversing my body with his lush, delicate lips.

Finding his way to my pussy he began to feast on me, his nibbles and licks were electrifying – you could tell it was something he reveled in. He certainly knew his tricks, I was definitely surprised – for such a young guy, he had some moves I hadn’t felt before… or at least not delivered in the way he did. Nibbling my clit and feasting on my whole pussy, interspersed with delightful kisses…. he was as blessed in talent as he was in looks.

In our text exchange he called himself indefatigable…. a word I had to look up haha! He corrected himself, offering the word tireless after I asked him what he meant (although I should’ve known, it is rather obvious in the word itself) – I realised he had meant to say he has stamina. And that he certainly does, although it’s not such a rare feat in my experience.

MonsieurMiam tossed me around in a way I don’t think I’ve truly experienced since TheMaster. With confidence, minus arrogance, he expertly maneuvered me around. Fucking me both slow and fast, building me up then moving me at just the right minute to hit the right spots, delivering such heavenly ecstasy. I loved the way he looked at me enjoying my pleasure, with a knowing cheeky-serious face…..not smirking or smiling, it’s hard to describe. Those eyes are really something else.

Holding my legs up as he fucked me and occasionally kissing my calf, then lowering them and pulling me towards him in scissor……he definitely was indefatigable! He reminded me of this as we continued fucking and I learned that he surprisingly had never cum from fucking before. After some time, we paused and enjoyed kissing – he is definitely my style of kisser.

Moving down to take his cock in my mouth, I enjoyed his pleasure as I licked his shaft, interspersed with sucking his cock and using my hands to stimulate him. He kept repeating “continue”, which I later learned is French for “keep going”, I absolutely love languages and find it quite endearing how he dots in French words assuming I’ll understand – not just in this instance, which made sense, but others too. After he came, he told me I was very good – which is always nice to hear.

Asking what the time was, 2 hours had passed since he arrived and it was quite late. I learned the phrase “On ne voit pas le temps passeé” – which I think is the French way of saying time flies. We fortunately managed to find him a taxi back to where he was staying, despite the hour of night (well, morning). We parted with a delicious kiss and upon arriving home he text me saying he was okay and “yes thanks you are really sexy and cool girl”.

Oui ^^