A lesson in emotional intelligence

A conversation with TheMaster from before our overnight play date.  It took me a while to realise that this was a major lesson in honouring yourself – doing what you want and choose to do, by placing highest value on yourself above others.  I initially thought that this lesson was an example of emotional manipulation, which I was completely wrong about. Sometime after this conversation, whilst reading a book about experiencing the world through love – loving yourself and conducting yourself through the actions of love – I realised that this was an example of emotional intelligence.

Magenta: ……what does Master think of Magenta arranging a full leave pass for Monday?

Master: Full leave pass? Clarify?

Magenta: Full leave pass as in you could have me for the night….
Haven’t quite thought of what might get me a full leave pass but I’m working on ideas

Master: leave pass is good with me, just gotta be gone by 6:30am that’s my only catch.

Magenta: So, enthusiastic Master lol 🙄 I work out at 6 so early is no issue with me, but I won’t concoct a plan if you’d rather not have me.

Master: I’m very easy with a leave pass, you wish to stay, you are welcome to, you choose to leave I’m ok
I’m easy either way
I frustrate you don’t I!

Magenta: Lol
Well, I’m not great at intuition, reading things, as I’d like to be but I’m getting better. I frustrate myself because of it. You’re getting less frustrating.
Anticipation of needs, knowing what needs to be done before someone asks is what I kick arse at but reading people, for me at least, has never been a strength.
Saying you’re easy either way, reads to me that you’re not fussed whether I give you my time or not.
I’m not saying that as a complicated girl, just that I completely agree with the statement that you make time for what you want to do and people who say they don’t have time for doing things – you always have to make the time for what you want to do.
I don’t know what the coming months will bring for me…. maybe the end of play dates, so my thought of more time with you on Monday is in line with that.

Master: Right, I think I need to clarify something….and I’ll use the Monday night as an easy example.
If I don’t want you to stay the night, I’ll say so.
The reason I say I’m easy is that I hate to influence people with my thoughts. People will say “Yeah I really want you to stay over”. Let’s say for some reason that you can’t, it then makes you feel bad for letting me down, so I just don’t do it.  Not sure if that helps at all, it’s just how I’m built, I let people make up their own mind unless I don’t want it to happen.  I enjoy your company and look forward to ‘picking you up’
Does this help or just add to the confusion of Master?

Magenta: Thank you, yes that helps – definitely doesn’t add to the confusion of Master at all.  An interesting view re not wanting to influence people with your thoughts – intriguing & I like it.

Master: FYI how I am has peeved plenty of GF’s of past life off but they have then come back to me after a while and understood it…. a bit.

Magenta: Peeved, really?

Master: I hate when people emotionally influence people

Magenta: but that is a very self aware view which is very rare. I think at least

Master: peeved – pissed off.
Yeah, they’ve said how they look back and see I was just letting them make a choice for themselves

Magenta: I know what peeved is silly

Master: Oh lol

Master: some call it being rude and arrogant

Magenta:  I wouldn’t call it that

Master: they’d get pissed off because I wouldn’t have a clear view and they’d need to make their own decision….almost like they didn’t want that responsibility.
I do it with my team at work as well, I force them to make a decision and they need to live by it and explain it if something went wrong.

Magenta:  I’m cool with owning my own choices – everyone has a choice each day on how to live their day even if that is a simplistic view and sure, people have different choices even when affected by circumstances e.g illness, there’s still choice in what to do in the moment no matter what you think.
We’re meaning makers in a meaningless world
Things only have the meaning that you give them – an object, situation etc – Everyone attaches different meaning to things.
So thanks for the clarification of your view.  I’m puzzled at others’ interpretation of arrogant and rude though.

Master: Easier to cast a negative view on someone than truly understand them.

Magenta: Human nature is to default to negative, whether that is self criticism or an outward view.  I wouldn’t say easier, just that it’s very much a default.
Anyway I look forward to seeing your pick up moves…whether you will be successful however

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s