Oh Kate Rose…..how I love your prose!
I have professed my love of this writer’s way with words a few times before – so much of what she writes truly resonates with me.
I just read one of her latest articles today and it articulates much of what I have come to feel is true for me recently.
I have come to realise that whilst I do love Husband and we have created some amazing memories together…….I believe that I fell in love with him out of ‘ego’ – very much with my head. Sure, there was an element of heart there and there is certainly much that I admire and love about him still……but it’s never been a soulful love. The paragraph I’ve highlighted below very much resonates with my recent realisations.
The whole article is definitely worth reading…..the words truly speak to my soul.
Of all the “logical” things in this world—love isn’t one of them.
It’s been said that we never love in the same way twice. While that’s true because each person is different and so is the way in which we care about them, what it boils down to is: Do we love them with our head or with our heart?This isn’t an issue of one way being preferable over another, but there are differences in authenticity, longevity, and depth that each just naturally exudes.
It seems that for many of us our first—or first few—loves are based more in our heads than our hearts. It’s not to say that we don’t actually feel genuine love for them, but it’s usually a logical love, even if it is profound.
For many of us, as we age we don’t really grow up, but rather grow out of the boxes that we either were placed in as children or placed ourselves in to conform. When we’re young and not yet developed into our authentic selves, we tend to believe that love is a choice of convenience and reason.
We chose partners based on what we felt we wanted or needed, and to help fulfill the role that we believed we had to live up to in society—and perhaps we even felt that we were happy.
It’s a love that makes sense, that doesn’t challenge our place in the world, and through our decisions, we fulfill the roles that we feel compelled to.
Loving with our head may even be satisfying—but it’s not soul-enriching.
Very often, we will believe ourselves to be content because our ego is comfortable in that love. It knows what to expect, and it feels good because others approve of our path and the partner that we have chosen to stand with in this life.
Our hearts tend to grow into love with someone who will help us question our own lives and belief systems—the type of person who will, through our own experiences with them, help propel us further along our own paths of self-development…..