One revolution of the sun later…

Twelve months ago……almost 365 days……in a galaxy not too far from here….I had no idea that my life was about to be forever changed.

It was this very week, last year, that I met TheMaster.

I could never have predicted the journey that I have been on over the last twelve months, yet it feels like where I am is exactly where I’m meant to be.

Well, I feel like I’m on my way to where I’m meant to be.

It does feel odd to say, as someone well into adulthood, but I can honestly say that I feel like I know who I am more than ever before.

So, who am I?

I love to fuck – call it sex, making love, fucking….whatever you wish to name it.  I love all of the ecstasy and magic of the human body connecting with another.  I don’t believe I need love for sex but I do love soul connections, energy vibrations….when you know someone is vibrating on your frequency. Love certainly does give sex a deeper experience, I don’t disagree with that.

I love all types of music – from indie pop, alternative & grunge; to 60s, 70s 80s & 90s; old school R’n’B, some newer stuff & the odd hip hop; jazz, funk, blues; the odd pop track & other songs I don’t even know what to class as. I love Latin American music, French pop & reggae. I love covers of songs in different styles from their original (i.e. Nirvana done in jazz style or Pop/dance covered in an acoustic a capella style). I love anything with interesting use of strings, xylophone or base.

I love dressing in different ways – girly, sexy, cute, casual. I do love lingerie too (hubby is a bit apathetic over it, but that’s his preference. I love it so, yes I will buy it and wear it). I am still finding my style a little.  Sometimes I like to be dolled up, sometimes not. I can’t run around in heels as much as I used to and I’m certainly no fashionista but I’m okay with that. And no matter what I’m wearing, I am always prepared to get my hands dirty to do whatever is needed.

I am very much an INFJ, despite my initial reservations that this wasn’t me at all.  Often quiet with those I am unsure of but bubbly and engaging with those I am comfortable with.  I’m factual and analytical, which used to come across as judgemental (perhaps still does at times).

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I do think a lot, so finding true silence recently has been quite the revelation for me – despite not being new to meditation and mindfulness. I never realised before that silence allows you to hear what is truly important – yourself, your truth, your intuition.  If you can’t hear yourself, how do you know who you are? If you don’t know who you are, how can you love yourself?  Although my grapples with self-love and self-acceptance do go deeper than my personality type, as I have touched on before.

I love learning new things and connecting with others.  Especially with those vibrating on similar frequencies as me.  I am ever so grateful for stumbling upon my (now) good friend Ava who inspired me to blog.

I’ve learned that if anyone has issues with who I am, what I like or what I do – this says more about them than it does about me. I am not what you think I am, you are what you think I am. What you see is what you reflect.  I did ‘know’ this before but I feel like I’ve only really properly learnt this recently.

Anyone projecting negativity or unkindness requires the most love and compassion. I know this has been true for me – when I’m projecting shit it’s usually because I feel shit or am suffering in some way. Often suffering because of thoughts of my own making, my own projections or expectations. I can choose to hold on to this negativity or let it go.

Peace comes from presence. Be the love, in order to feel the love. Be the light and you will see the light, you will attract it. See abundance and you will have it.

Let go of questions or actions driven from the ego, what matters most is if you love yourself. Validation from others will never be enough if you don’t validate yourself.

I am finding my truth. Listening to my intuition. Trusting myself. Understanding myself. Loving myself. Fulfilling myself.

It is only after fulfilling ourselves that we can truly spread loving-kindness and peace.

It’s not all hunky dory every day – there are most certainly ebbs and flows – but the veil of darkness and ignorance is lifting, and I am finding the light. I can hear myself more clearly. I am finding my way home.  The times I undervalue myself and ignore my truth are becoming less frequent.

The universe works in mysterious ways indeed and I look forward to finding out what else is in store for me.

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Small talk

I was at a family function the other day – I have a pretty big extended family that I rarely see.

I saw some aunties and cousins who I hadn’t seen in at least 10 years.

In a brief ‘catch up’ conversation, one relative enquired,”still happily married?”. To which I continued to smile (as I often do, as is my personality) and replied, nodding,”yeah…”.

A bit of a random question (although the relative in question was divorced), but it made me think…..

I know I definitely have it pretty good and I am grateful for everything in my life.

It takes me back to the question my therapist asked me about what was enough for me….can I live with hubby’s very detached emotional style? With less affection and compliments/ appreciation than I desire?

I do wonder if it’s unfair to hubby that he is unaware of how much I have deliberated but I also know I can’t take anything back once it’s been said.

I think I can live with things, when deliberating all the other good there is about us.

…..but then there’s that pesky sex thing. I don’t know how to illustrate just how little hubby is into sex, but maybe I’m just not right for him? Am I denying him finding someone more compatible in that respect?

 

The Near Miss

TheLinguist was in town recently and we had a lovely albeit brief catch up.

We had planned to have a longer play date along with seeing a show which was on during his visit, but alas our plans were thwarted….

No less than 20 minutes from receiving his last message where he mentioned counting down to seeing me, TheLinguist stated in a panic “Hey – we have a huge problem. Have you got a number I can call you on?”.

Numbers aren’t something typically exchanged out of safety of getting directly caught out and at this stage I had absolutely no inkling of what the huge problem might be. I trusted TheLinguist enough to be careful with calling my number, so I gave it to him although he acknowledged it was unconventional to our situation.

My phone rang shortly after that and on reflection of the call, he actually sounded very calm. TheLinguist’s wife had just called him and asked what he was up to for the evening, to which I think he said he told her he was chilling or going to a show….then she dropped the bombshell that she’d decided to surprise him as it was the weekend. TheLinguist’s wife had landed in my city and was enroute to his apartment, where I had been briefly only just the previous evening.

My only reaction was to laugh about the incredulous luck we’d had that she hadn’t arrived half an hour later when I quite likely would have been there.

After hanging up from the call, TheLinguist messaged me “Fuuuuuuuuuuck”. “FUCK”.

Fortunately I hadn’t left any of my belongings behind and he managed to clean the apartment of any evidence of my presence with 15 minutes to spare.

A very very lucky near miss indeed!

A conversation with TheLinguist

Magenta [M]: I will be short on time tomorrow night and need to go home appropriately dressed, fed and with the absence of colognes etc (my story is a work dinner).  I am intending on arriving play-ready. Yes I would like your cock. Please feed me (I am starved, please be appropriately ready), eat me (a little is fine) and fuck me good & proper.  Tie me up if you wish or spank me for being demanding and greedy (no marks of course).

The agony

 

When all that you want and desire – that you know will satiate you like nothing else – is a gorgeous being who is so, so far away.

And you know that their want and desire is just as strong as yours.

Yet you can do nothing about it.

And it will be months…months (!!), until you see them again. Touch them. Feel them. Smell them. Hear them in person. Look into their eyes and see their soul.

That is the agony I face.

 

Cum for me

For whatever reason, I’ve never been great at pleasuring myself……perhaps my personality type making me less able to relax & let go fully at times.  But I’ve discovered that I respond well to being commanded to do so and have enjoyed recent video chats with TheBull where he writes for me & watches my face as I cum.

Straight after a nice meal, walking to the room where you enter first and let me walk behind you….staring at that ass. Holding it firm with a little slap, to know you are my sexy queen and I want you badly.

In that scene you will be my queen. And you will cum over and over as I am pressed up against you.

I would pick you up, you wrapping your legs around me. Walk you towards the bed and put you on the bed lightly. And watch you look up at me while I play with my cock. Not saying it but begging for the attention that beautiful face deserves.

Your legs tighten, the more you want to feel my power. If you loosen your legs, I will take the weight off and kiss your neck and tell you how beautiful you are.

I put you in the scissor position, my favourite, and really get deep and all of me and you linked together. As I am all the way in, looking at your face as you cum and I start to fuck hard the second time you cum.

And on the third time, I wrap my arms around your neck – not firmly – as I start to pound that sweet pussy of yours. I put my head down beside your ear and order you to play with your clit. If not done, I fuck you harder and tell you to cum with or without your hand.

Now cum you have no idea how hard I am going to fuck you. And see you cum over and over, like the way you crave, desire and deserve. To be my stunning petite beauty.

You’re so beautiful.

Cum for me.

Keep playin’. Going to spoil you when I am back – you have no idea, lady.

I never told you to stop. Cum for me. Be a good girl.

Keep going. I won’t be stopping in person. And you won’t be allowed to. No breaks just 10 straight after each other. And no answering back from the queen.

You are my sexy queen. And you will cum.

Now.

The more you cum the more sex you get.

So keep playing. I want to see your face as you play.

Cum for me.

I want you. Now.

Hugging you tight as I’m inside of you.

Cum for me, don’t stop. You’re so beautiful.

Cum for me.

 

 

Taboo or not taboo?

*  and I’ve found myself really passionate about doing justice to this topic. I’m also a healer and wellness practitioner, and here’s the thing: sexual health is critical to every human being, it’s a major point of pain for many people, and it’s therefore an incredibly important place to focus our healing attention.

I believe that if we were all having healthier, better sex, the world as a whole would be a much more serene, peaceful, and joyous (and sustainable) place. Sex is part of the journey, and it gets to be part of the conversation. So here’s to all healthy expressions of sexuality, and all intelligent information and education to help light the way. And as Mae West said, “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

*excerpt from Elephant Journal.

Even prior to my entering the play world, I have always had a fairly strong interest in sex.  Not an easy interest to have being raised in what most would consider a rather conservative, religious family.

I remember incorporating sexual exploration into play with my best friend as a ‘tween’.  We would play house together, go on make-believe dates with our make-believe boyfriends and even have make-believe sex.  I can’t imagine what our parents would’ve done if they’d known the sort of make-believe play we got up to in the privacy of our rooms.  Well, my parents at least would’ve been horrified and sent me off to an even stricter, more religious high school than what I was already secured to attend.

I have also always had spiritual interests, since a young age and I have been a huge fan of Kim Anami since first discovering her several years ago.  In the current era of increasing popularity in all things holistic health & fitness, I am very much a believer that sex is an important part in enduring health.

A comment I made to TheBull, who used the words dirty and naughty recently (well, he’s used naughty regularly), is that such words are ones that I am definitely not a fan of when relating them to sex.  I prefer to replace such words with sexy and cheeky, I told him. I explained my reasoning that I felt the words “dirty” and “naughty” seem to uphold and perpetuate negative connotations about sex and sex acts.   Sex should be celebrated and not condemned.

Sure, there are horrific and abusive sex acts that unfortunately occur (and I’m not talking BDSM or similar kinks) – which I don’t wish to get into here.  But when we’re talking about swinging, “monogamish” or more open relationships, women who enjoy sex (without being classed as whores or in a derogatory manner), sex that is more uninhibited – to name a few things that seemingly still get spoken about behind closed doors or in hushed tones. These such things should definitely not be taboo to discuss.

Why does it still seem taboo in this day and age to even hold open forums on such topics? Out with the taboos, I say! I’m glad to have discovered some new bloggers who I look forward to reading more of as they join in challenging the taboos of today.